1. excessively proud of or concerned about one's own appearance, qualities, achievements, etc.; conceited.
2. proceeding from or showing personal vanity.
3. ineffectual or unsuccessful; futile.
4. without real significance, value, or importance; baseless or worthless.
5. Archaic. senseless or foolish.
I could try this,
A vain attempt
Describing texture, flavour and scents
Trying to make you see, taste, smell.